Top 10 things a bride should consider for 2019
1. Venue First
The venue is quite possibly the most important. All things flow from there. Have a specific date in mind? Possibly a play on numbers like… 9.9.19? The venue is likely booked a year out so get to work and find a unique venue that sets your wedding vision on fire.
2. Appropriate budget allocations - Most people overlook this step. They list of the things the want to spend the most on but forget about the things that bring elegance to the wedding. Florals give you just that. Now don't get me wrong, most people can't [read shouldn't] afford a Pinterest style wedding which on average cost over $30k in florals alone, so realizing what you want to afford is a huge step.
3. You're HOT - Appreciate your body and all it does for you. Stop stressing out over your image. You. Are. B>E>A>U>tiful! While we believe in curating a healthy lifestyle and working on self, give yourself a break. If you don't fit into that size [fill in the blank] dress... don't sweat it. Order your size and if by some miracle or extreme hard work pays off for the final dress fitting - GREAT - You did it. If not, give yourself one less thing to worry about because planning a wedding is hard work and guess what - You deserve to be happy during the planning process, not hating yourself.
4. Let it go! Are you worrying about the guest list or that tiny detail about the tables and the seating arrangements or escort cards that you can't deal with because it is such a silly detail? Just choose to let it go. Which leads me to the next step number on the list…
5. Delegate. Most likely you have a family member or friend who by default loves to help. Let them. Share with them the details of your big day and what it looks like in your mind. Share a Pinterest board with ideas pinned on it and then play Rihanna’s song “Work” and check back in a few days/weeks depending on the timeline you and your helper agreed on.
6. Realistic expectations - Killer band and a great caterer make all the difference. Happy tummies, with kid’s meals for the kiddos to save a little extra cash, and a great band or DJ are a recipe for all night fun and will ensure you have people there at the close of the night for your sparkler send off.
6+.Meet with the Caterer ahead of time. Talk about the pros and cons of buffet vs seated. Which option allows for s’mores or pizza bites for a late night snack?
6++.Discuss playlists with your DJ and make sure they know you aren’t interested in the chicken dance or Macarena. Do you want to entertain requests or stick to a set? Believe me, if it is all hashed out prior to the night of, you will enjoy it so much more.
7. Documentation - Videography and photography. There are some amazing phones out there that take great pictures and videos but honestly, enough cannot be said for just accepting that a true photographer or videographer should never be replaced. Listen, they are in this business because they are addicted to the images of love and the special looks they catch on camera. Late night editing and feeling constantly drained and behind are not the drivers for them. They are GOOD. Nah, they are AHHMAZING [millennials read ‘lit]. Oh and always opt for a second shooter at least for the getting ready and ceremony. It is so worth it to get those angles. The glance during the vows. Your dad wiping a tear. Those are the things you want to remember. For this, we have a wonderful list of vendors we’ve personally worked with. Please please please, don’t hesitate to ask, we will gladly share.
8. LICENSES - Look, every major change involves a bit of paperwork and making sure you have yours with time to spare is important, not to mention the fact that having pictures of you and your new hubby signing it during your ceremony is great for blackmail…. I mean, memories. Be sure to grab a marriage license from the County plus order several verified original certificate copies for things like passport renewals and name changes. I always seem to need more one more, so make sure to get plenty.
9. Marital advice books - Dive into the self help books. You can tell pretty quickly whether or not it is worth it to you but one I definitely wouldn’t skip is the “5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. It talks about how people can “fall out of love” because they acted in different ways when they were dating but then in marriage, with the challenges and many transitions that come along, communication becomes very important. If you don’t want to read it prior to the wedding, at least buy it now and set it on your bedside table. It’s short. Maybe down the road when your new hubby is traveling or your darn Aunt Flo is visiting, you can pick it up and finish it in one sitting. Then later, maybe you’ll revisit it when/if you feel you need to. One thing is for sure, with the divorce rate like it is, it never hurts to do a little research and gain a little self-help along the way.
10. HONEYmoooon - Go big or go home - The average $$$ spent on a honeymoon ranges but in general can cost around $4-5K. My thought is that life only gets more complicated with work and if we are wanting and lucky, a growing family. It gets harder and harder to spend the money and post wedding is a great excuse to do so. With that in mind, there are a few tricks to saving for and on a trip. To save for, think about opening an Acorns account. Or maybe you can each save an extra $50-100 per paycheck. Go to your payroll department and ask to fill out a form that allows you to stash that money away each paycheck. Before you know it, and obviously depending on how far in advance you start saving, you will have a rip of money to spend on a big trip. Not engaged yet but at that point in your life where you are sick of swiping left or right and ready for a serious relationship. I get it, I was there, well not actually since Tinder was about 5 yrs later but, start saving for a vacation now. If it doesn’t end up being your honeymoon, don’t sweat it. You are way ahead and will have an awesome time not worrying about the cash for a last minute trip to Iceland or Mexico.
Saving on the trip is great too and I can already tell might end up in another blog post. All-inclusive. Say it with me…… “All Inclusive”! All inclusive resorts are the bomb.com and often will offer you specials for being there on your honeymoon. We stayed at the Secrets resort in Jamaica and had a 30 minute spa treatment included, dinner on the beach, champagne arrival with snacks and desserts galore. We loved it and the plane trip wasn’t a bank breaker either (like the trip to Phuket, Thailand would have been).
Bring $2 bills for tipping. This is a great travel tip in general but before you leave, head to the bank (some banks require you call ahead) and exchange your dollar bills for $2 bills. For one, they are perceived as lucky because they aren’t as widely used, and secondly, if you carry less cash, you have less cash on you which may help deter any pick-pocketers.
10+1. In-laws - Are you choosing to build walls or gardens. This one is tough but in reading a book and listening to podcasts recently, I learned that in a lot of relationships, the strain with the “in-laws” is premeditated and a stereotype that runs rampant in office buildings, friend groups, neighborhoods, and the list goes on. This is one of those things that can cause strain on your relationship. So grab the bull by the horns and choose to be happy. Choose whether you want to build gardens with defined paths (everyone needs boundaries) that can be weeded and adjusted through the changing seasons of life or if you need to set some serious boundaries. Not a lot of good can come from building walls. Walls are meant to keep people out and a successful relationship curates the love of family. All family is important. Be loyal and honor your partner by truly believing that they are who they are, not to mention the one you love and are marrying, because of the family they keep. Be authentic and forgiving and above all else, show love and understanding. If all else fails, at least try to communicate.